


Can't Take This....

by Blue_eyed_Crow



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Crying, Drinking, Established Relationship, Happy Ending, Homeless Man - Freeform, Hunk (Voltron) Has Anxiety, Hunk (Voltron) is a Good Friend, Insecurity, Knives, Lack of Communication, M/M, McNuggets, Mentions of Mental Illness, Mentions of past abuse, Miscommunication, Oblivious Keith (Voltron), POV everyone, Sassy Hunk, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unreliable Narrator, actual 8 year old tells off 5 year olds, communication is key children, just a smidge, keith is mature boy, so many tears, sometimes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-04-04 06:28:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14014179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_eyed_Crow/pseuds/Blue_eyed_Crow
Summary: Lance had a great life, he was loved. Everything was good. His friends loved him, his boyfriend loved him. But did Keith really love him?





	1. No More...

Lance loved his boyfriend of three years, five if he counted the time they were friends, and eight since they meet each other. Of course Lance loved Keith. He loved him when he was still grumpy in the mornings, nose scrunching as he looked around. He loved him when they were both too drunk to stand. He loved him when he was pouting because his favorite character was an idiot. Lance had seen him angry, heartbroken, guilty, happy, nervous, and everything in between. And Lance never stopped loving him. His mama always said he had a big heart that few could take. Maybe she was right. Maybe he always loved more than others loved him. He loved Keith so much. But he wasn’t sure Keith loved him back. But he had to right?? He wouldn’t stay if he wasn’t happy. Lance tried to ignoring the persistent voice saying that Keith would. 

\-------------------

If Lance had to choose the beginning when it started, he’d have to say when he got home from a frankly horrible day. His professor chewed him out to tears, much to his dismay. His car wouldn’t start. His coffee spilled. It was pretty bad, and Lance needed his boyfriend. He needed to cuddle, rant, cry, and then sleep. He opened the door to a silent apartment. A single red sticky note was above the shoe rack, and Lance’s heart sunk. Red for silence. It was fine. His boyfriend just needed some silence, it was too much for him. Lance could respect that.

\------------------

Lance reflects on this days later worrying his lip between his teeth arm thrown out to the side, eyes watching the back of his boyfriend. He feels weird, and he stubbornly refuses to address it. Everything’s fine, just because he wasn’t comforted isn’t a valid reason to feel so.. So… weird. So he just watches Keith play Call of Duty, swearing into the mic.  
“Hey Keith. I love you,” Lance says and then feels bad. He shouldn’t say it just for validation. Keith swears flinging the controller to the side as if that’d make him dodge faster.  
“Thanks babe,” Keith replies absent-minded and that just makes Lance feels worse. Of course he doesn’t say anything. Lance may talk a lot but he never talks about anything important. He lets his mind wander, tears starting to prick. No. Nothing to cry over. He quickly forces his attention back over the days. A single nasty thought pops up in his brain. It repeats over, and over. Even after Keith finishes his game, and they fall asleep together. _When was the last time Keith said he loved me?_

 -----------------

Lance looks down at the list feeling. Just feeling. For being a person with a supposed great emotional capacity, the irony that he’s breaking emotionally is not lost on him. He should confront it, should talk it out- but how? How to you walk up to the love of your life and say ‘Hey you should express your love because I feel like crap- and I didn’t get the validation I wanted from you’. No. You don’t. Love, and relationships aren’t all about you. Lance shakes trying to stuff away his feelings. Lance knows that he can’t be so selfish. He has to be there for Keith. If he had half a mind he’d throw the list away, and go talk to his love. But he doesn’t so he keeps it. A burning reminder. 31 days written in red ink. Red like Keith, red like love. 31 days since he said he loved me. He tucks it into his pocket, stumbling to his feet when Keith walks into the room, guilt coiling in his stomach. He’s such a bad boyfriend. Keith looks at him, brow furrowing in suspicion. Lance can’t shake off the feeling he’s a horrible person for the rest of the night. It burrows deeper and deeper. 

\-------------------

Lance smiles at his friends as Keith hugs each and every one of them. He desperately tries to ignore the fact that Keith doesn’t hug him. But that’s only because they came together. It’d be weird to hug someone you walked in with. Of course. That’s the reason. He tries to laugh with the rest of them but his thoughts buzz like flies. He can’t sleep that night. Or the nights after. 

\-------------------

“I love you Pidge!” Keith cries lifting Pidge off the floor. Lance’s heart plummets. 42 days. Zero for pidge. But it’s alright. Keith is just really happy. It’s fine that Keith hugs other people. Lance doesn’t own him. Keith can be happy with others.

\-------------------

“I love you Shiro, Hunk,” Keith whispers crying. Tears streaming down his face. Lance hangs his head tracing patterns on the carpet. Keith hugs the stuffed animal- therapy stuffed animal to replace Red that got destroyed after the fight. Just a random gift the three worked together for. Lance wants to cry. But he doesn’t. He’s a good boyfriend. He’ll put Keith first, then Keith will love him again. Of course. The list for him grows, but not for his friends. 

\-------------------

Lance tries. He gets up early and makes breakfast, he cooks all of Keith’s favorite foods, he cleans and makes sure everything is perfect. He says I love you, all the time. He just wants Keith to say it back. Keith sleeps in a different room, claiming ‘Now that it’s summer it’ll be too hot for him.’ It’s been summer for months. Lance muffles his sobs biting down until he can taste blood. _Harder_ he promises himself. _I’ll try harder. Then he’ll love me._

\-------------------

Lance can’t do it anymore. He can’t. He hugs his legs closer to his body shaking. He can’t. The number 63 burns in his mind. A little over two months.  
“It’s okay,” he mutters to his knees tears pushed far far back. He’s been rocking for who knows how long. “It’s okay.” he chants voice rough. He can do this. He just has to be better. Keith likes space. Lance can give him space. Lance can do everything for his boyfriend. It’ll be okay. It is okay. Lance is fine as long as Keith is fine. 

 

_….he isn’t._

\-------------------

The bar’s music is loud, and chaotic and only adds to the mess in Lance’s alcoholic addled brain. He’s mess- so desperate for any affection he went to the bar. It just makes him feel worse but with the alcohol he doesn’t notice. He can brush it off and have fun. He doesn’t have to feel…. He doesn’t have to live with the heartache. He can just exist. Between the continuously flowing alcohol the night breaks into pieces. The dance floor lights strobing, bodies moving all around him no space. Hands everywhere. Words being whispered into his ear. Love. He remembers crying when he heard it. First time in months. It feels like an oasis in the desert. It’s a relief. Then he’s alone, and he’s warm. Then it’s gone. When Lance wakes up he’s at their apartment with a raging hangover. Guilt seeps into his bones, and Lance does what he always does at this point. He buries it, pushes it down. Till he can’t feel anything. It doesn’t mean anything. 

\-------------------

Lance goes drinking more often fleeing after the relief. He wakes up with no memories but whisps and killer hangovers. He tries not to think of the list and the days that tick by. Keith spends more time on Call of Duty. Lance tries to do the chores but he doesn’t feel it. Everything’s numb. He can’t do it. He just can’t. But where does he go? Where can he go? What about his friends? They need him. At least he hopes so. 

\-------------------

The group hangs out at the bar. Fitting, Lance deems. They laugh and joke together, Keith glowing in the middle of it all. Lance sips at his beer grimacing. He hates beers. His friends glance his way ever so often, making a comment towards him every so often. But they don’t make any effort past that. Keith is the focus. Keith is core. Lance is just an add on. Keith is the important one. He is the group. Everything seems to revolve around Keith. It clicks in Lance’s head. Of course. He thinks draining the glass. Of course it’s Keith. Of course it isn’t...him. The others they share a bond that Lance doesn’t have. All them have problems, but not Lance. _The only mentally stable one of us_ they used to joke. He doesn’t feel so stable right now. Lance watches them sadly, wishing for that. Wishing for them. But most of all he wishes better for Keith. _He deserves the world. And Lance isn’t the world._

\-------------------

The perfect opportunity comes when Keith stays over at Shiro’s. Lance waves goodbye and watches him leave. The apartment feels so big and Lance so small. Lance looks around, worrying his lip. Blood drips onto his tongue but he doesn’t stop. It’s habit by now. The pain helps ground him. Lance knows he can’t stay here. He can’t do this anymore. He takes out a box and piles everything he owns into it. He tucks away what won’t fit and throws away things he has to leave behind. His toothbrush goes in the trash. He leaves what he knows Keith will love. When he’s done he cooks Keith’s favorites meals and tucks them into the fridge. There. He’ll be good for a week. Then Lance takes the trash out, careful to erase most of his existence. Lance risks one more glance and closes the door behind him. He places his key next to the hidden spare. He starts his car and drives off. Drives far.

\-------------------

Two days Lance waits, phone in hand on the cheap motel bed. He sends it when he knows Keith will be heading home. 

 

_“I’m sorry Keith. I still love you.”_

 

Then he blocks all of the numbers. He keeps his photos saved, but takes out his battery so Pidge won’t track him. And that night he lets himself cry not bothering to muffle it. He cries until he can’t cry anymore.


	2. I'm Damaged Goods

Keith knows he isn’t perfect, he’s angry, he’s awful in social situations, he too blunt, he’s.. A bit of a mess really. Damaged even. But god, he has Lance. The man who can light up the world with his smile. The man who he loves. God he loves him. How Keith was able to be so lucky is beyond him. Keith knows Lance deserves everything, and the fact that Keith can’t provide him with many things is awful. He’s too broken for someone as angelic as Lance. And yet Lance still stays. ‘I love yous” dripping from his mouth, smooth and sweet like honey and just as plentiful. Keith wishes he could say it back, but the words get lodged in his throat. He could do it before, could say it before. Why not now? Why not… why not… 

\------------------- 

The next day, when everything was too _loud_ , Keith understood why he couldn't say it. He quietly as possible slipped on his headphones and tiptoed out into the kitchen to place a single red sticky note. Keith grabbed as many blankets as he could and curled up in the guest bedroom. Hiding. Even after all these years. Still hiding, still flinching from it being too loud. Still broken, no matter how much Lance fills in the cracks. Still broken. 

\------------------- 

Keith can’t say it the days after that, when Lance calls it when he’s playing games. He can’t say it back when Lance swoops in for a kiss goodbye. He can only push him away. _‘Communication is key,’_ Lance says in his head.  
“Not today,” Keith offers an apologetic grin and Lance, bless his soul, understands. Keith isn’t religious but Lance makes him believe or at least want to worship him. Not a healthy thought but he loves Lance. But he still can’t say it. Maybe that’s why he forgets about it. 

\------------------- 

Keith may not be the most observant person in the world, he can just hear Pidge cackling in the background, but he does recognize something is wrong with his boyfriend. When he walked into the room Lance jumped up suspiciously and wouldn’t meet his gaze for the rest of the night. Then at the weirdest times Lance would look away. Lance didn’t do that. Keith yes. Hunk sometimes. Shiro when he was experiences an episode. But not Lance. Not normal Lance. 

\------------------- 

When the group meets again, a rarity these days with everyone’s busy schedules Keith can only hug them in joy. He missed them so very much. Even though he doesn’t hug much, he just can’t help himself. They laugh together, and Pidge ruffles his hair. Everything is good in that moment. When they get home Lance tosses and turns all night. He wakes up and groans every time Keith adjusts himself. Keith frowns at it, wondering what’s wrong. But he forgets to ask. Of course nothing can be too wrong with Lance. He’s Lance after all, and Lance doesn’t break. He’s much too strong for that. 

\------------------- 

Keith tells Pidge he loves them after she fixes his phone. Happiness bubbles in his veins and the words flow out so easily. How could they not? He makes a resolve to say them more often. It feels good to say them. 

 -------------------

So he tells them. Shiro and Hunk when they give him Red.2. Of course it isn’t Red but it’s perfect. He cries. Hunk eventually pats him on the back and tells him privately that Lance had to original idea for it. Keith smiles through the tears and promises to thank Lance later. Right now is a time for celebration. He can talk to Lance a little later. 

\------------------- 

Lance cooks fanatically, and makes sure not a speck of dust is anywhere in the apartment. At first Keith suspects that Lance’s family is visiting but after a couple days no one comes. Keith just shrugs it off as one of Lance’s quirks. He just wanted to cook and clean right then. Not that Keith is complaining. Lance is a decent cook after all. 

\------------------- 

Keith only half listens as Lance drops another ‘I love you.’ He says them so often now. Every minute he seems to saying it again. Which is fine, Lance is just a very loving person and Keith loves that about him, but right now it’s too much. Keith stands up and offers a weak excuse to go to bed. He should explain, communicate with Lance but he doesn’t. 

\------------------- 

Lance spends even more time in the bathroom as if that was even possible. Keith chuckles to himself. How much skin cream can one put on their face? Keith shakes his head. _Silly Lance._ He thinks to himself. Keith knocks on the door.  
“I’m heading out. I just need some space okay?” Lance doesn’t respond but Keith doesn’t notice. He’s already walking out, pulling on his coat. 

\------------------- 

Lance, bless his heart, seems to take his plea for space to heart. He goes out most nights, probably to the park- Lance loves the park, and returns home so quietly Keith doesn’t even notice. He wakes up later as well, but Keith just chalks that up to the fact Lance goes to bed late. 

\------------------- 

“Hey Lance did you forget your skin care thingies?” Keith asks. “You’ve got wrinkles under your eyes.” Lance looks at the ground, hands resting on his bicep.  
“Oh yeah mullet,” Lance says softly wincing slightly. Headache. Keith sympathizes with him and leaves Lance alone for the rest of the day. Some days just need to be quiet. Keith gets that. So he logs onto Call of Duty and greets his team with creative swears. He grins to himself. Life is good. 

\------------------- 

Keith notices they’ve been getting pretty low on ibuprofen. He stocks up on it tucking it away in the medicine cabinet. He also tucks vitamins there too. If Lance keeps getting headaches the vitamins will help him. He also notices more dust gathering all around, things hastily cleaned.The food stays subpar. Keith gets take-out more often. He leaves the cleaning to Lance. It’s fine. Lance is just trying new things. 

\------------------- 

Pidge calls him up a grin evident throughout the phone. They’ve been talking more often- Pidge to get out of her homework and Keith just because. He won’t admit it but some days he wants to just cuddle with his boyfriend- but Lance needs space. He doesn’t need to be awoken every thirty minutes to Keith’s insomnia, and he just needs silence to deal with his headaches.  
“Loser,” Pidge greets affectionately. Keith chuckles. He sees Lance stumble into the kitchen so he goes out onto the balcony. “How’re things?”  
“They’re good.” And he means it. Both him and Lance are great and everything’s been calm. No fights or anything. It’s good.  
“Lance seems kinda,” Pidge makes a weird noise. “Is everything really good or are you just trapped in social conventions?” She asks both concerned and joking.  
“No, they’ve been really good. He has been getting a lot of headaches recently. Maybe it’s stress.” Keith taps his fingers on the railing sighing.  
“Ah. Well how about I get the gang together and we get outrageously drunk? No headaches just hangovers,” Pidge chuckles then swears, the phone dropping. Keith laughs.  
“We’d love that,” Keith promises. He can feel Pidge’s excitement growing.  
“I’ll text you the date. Tell the goofball to feel better.”  
“I will.” Keith says and ends the call. He stays outside until it’s late. He forgets to tell Lance. It’s okay though. Lance is still Lance. 

\-------------------

The bartender greets Lance by name and asks if he wants his usual which Keith finds weird. But it’s probably just Lance’s brother pretending to be Lance to get some drinks. He butts in before Lance can say anything.  
“Beers,” he requests. Keith actually likes beers. They remind him of when his father would sip one while Keith would play on the porch and then they’d stare at the stars. Keith heads back to the group letting Lance carry back the drinks. They circle together with Keith in the middle. As the alcohol flows everything gets brighter and fuzzier. Everything blurs together but Keith swears Lance looks so sad. He vaguely remembers the group trying to talk to him but he can’t remember what happens after. In the morning he just writes it off as his alcohol-addled brain. Lance can’t be sad. Lance is Lance. Lance is life, and love, and joy. 

\------------------- 

Keith notices Lance’s restless energy. Lance needs some alone time, Keith concludes. He goes over to his brother’s for a couple of nights.

\------------------- 

Keith goes home two days later. He opens the door, a smile on his face. He missed his brother.  
“Honey I’m home!” Keith laughs mockingly. Silence greets him. Keith looks around. No sticky note. “Lance?” He calls again. Once again no answer. Chills creep up his spine. He steps forward looking around. He checks the fridge, food enough to feed an army. The trashes are all empty. He checks the bathroom. No face masks or creams. A single toothbrush. Keith bursts into the bedroom. The bed’s made and most of Lance’s stuff is gone. Keith checks the wardrobe. All Lance’s clothes are gone. Keith chokes on a sob, tears falling.  
“No nononono,” he chants. His phone dings and he checks the messages. Tears fall onto the screen.  
_‘I’m sorry Keith. I still love you.’_ It reads. Keith cries and calls Pidge. _Why’d you leave?_ He asks silently. Pidge picks up.  
“Lance! Lance!” he sobs into the phone. Thankfully Pidge understands. Silence looms except for the soft clicking of keyboard keys.  
“I’m sorry Keith, his phone it’s-sigh-I don’t know where he is.” Keith cuts the call crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Sorry it took me so long to post but I'm back now. I plan on just one more chapter- probably with a happy ending. We shall see. However, I might not finish it sooo... enjoy :D 
> 
> I do have a couple more fics that will be coming out soon (ish). Thanks so much!


	3. Unless you're with me...

Shiro sips his coffee as Keith tries to become one with the table. The group gathers all around Pidge who’s anxiously typing on her computer. Hunk bites his nails. Shiro closes his eyes trying to block it out.  
“Found him!” Pidge cries standing up. Hunk jerks forward eyes scanning the computer, pushing Pidge slightly to the side. Huge bags rest underneath her eyes. Keith jumps right next to Hunk. Shiro stands up.  
“Let’s go get Lance.” 

 

The drive is quiet, Keith keeps tapping his thigh and Hunk shakes. Pidge’s mouth in drawn in a tight line, anger shaking her tiny, tiny frame. She’s upset, they all are. A similar question on all their minds.  
“Can we stop for McNuggets?” Hunks asks disrupting the tense atmosphere. Three pairs of eyes stare at him in disbelief. “One- I know for a fact that two of use haven’t eaten anything in 36 hours-” Pidge and Keith duck their heads- “and Two Lance is more likely to let us in if we bring food. We know him-he took at max 300 dollars. Factor in the cost of hotel or motel rooms for about 40 dollars a day that leaves him twenty dollars for food. Plus free food. Third-”  
“We get it,” Pidge snaps the negative three hours of sleep she’s gotten has made her irritable and generally unapproachable. Hunk sniffs, and the group goes quiet. Shiro parks the car and, like zombies, they all shuffle into the McDonald’s. They sit in silence after ordering each munching on their respective food. Lance’s McNuggets sit on an empty place. Pidge breaks the silence first.  
“I’m going to punch Lance when I see him,” Pidge threatens sipping her McCofee darkly. Hunk shakes his head clearly panicked.  
“Uh-uh let’s not do that. We want to bring him home not drive him further and further from us and into the woods where he’ll get eaten by a bear and ” he hurriedly mutters voice raising and falling. His fries fall from his hands and land on the table and floor. Hunk stops his tirade looking close to tears. Shiro wordlessly passes his fries to Hunk.  
“We aren’t hurting anyone,” Shiro mediates wearily, his eyes grey and lifeless. His prosthetic twitches at his side. The group falls into silence picking at their food again.  
“Why would he leave me?” Keith asks breaking the silence. Unshed tears drip from his voice. Hunk reaches out for Keith’s hand to ground him but Keith snakes his arm away.  
“Why? He said he loved me..” Keith sniffs tears threatening to pool over. A flash of anger overshadows his sadness. He growls gritting his teeth alternating between tears and growling. Pidge herself is furious as well.  
“He’s an idiot,” Hunk says looking down at the table face drawn into a tight line. Shiro blinks at Hunk confused. Out of anyone here Hunk has been friends with Lance the longest. Shiro was sure that Hunk would bitterly defend his lifelong friend.  
“He’s stupid, he interalizes things and makes outlandish assumptions-which is what happened here. But you know what? He’s our idiot and we’re going to bring him home.” Hunk nods along to his words still taping nervously. Pidge frowns.  
“You say it like this happened before.” She accuses. Hunk nods.  
“It’s not my story to tell.” Keith frowns. He told Lance everything- why couldn’t Lance give him the same? Why didn’t he trust him? Questions run around in his head but there’s no answers. There are never answers. Just more questions. 

 

The journey resumes, with Pidge feeding Shiro directions diligently as they get closer and closer to their destination. Hunk and Keith both deal with things in the backseat. Hunk plays with his rubik's cube while Keith stares out the window, curled up on himself. Shiro tries to go slow not to disturb them- but the road and town isn’t...the greatest. Hunk legit whimpers when he looks up and out.  
“I changed my mind-let’s go home,” He pleads but Shiro doesn’t listen. The only indication he’s heard is the way his hand tightens on the steering wheel. A homeless man grins at Hunk holding a knife. Hunk yelps and ducks under the window.  
“Stop panicking Hunk!” Keith hisses at the panicked man.  
“Oh would you look at that-I no longer feel anxious! I am calm and free from anxiety.” Hunk snaps back.  
“Homeless doesn’t mean dangerous,” Keith hisses back before nodding at the knife-guy. Shiro doesn’t have the heart to remind the pair that the windows are tinted and he can’t actually see them. Which is weird how he grinned exactly at where Hunk was.  
“Knives do!” Hunk screeches back.  
“Shut up both of you!” Pidge growls turning around to glare at both of them. “Keith stop being an a-”  
“Pidge. Hunk. Keith.” Shiro sternly says eyes on the road. “If you keep fighting like five year olds I will have to treat you _like five year olds._ ” The car grows quiet.  
“Turn right,” Pidge mutters quietly, her shoulders still drawn up but an exhausted edge bleed through her words. Shiro follows diligently, eyes roaming the sleazy looking motel in front of them.  
“Honey we’re home,” Keith bitterly mutters and for once Shiro can’t find it in him to disagree.

 

No one moves watching intently on Lance’s car- the oldest ugliest blue sedan possibly ever. Finally, there wait pays off. Lance briskly walks up to his car shoving in a box. He looks panicked, his hair messed up in every which way.  
“Alright let’s take this slow-” Shiro begins but Keith is already out and running for Lance. “So we don’t scare him off.” He finishes with a sigh.  
“Damage control.” Pidge sighs as well. They love their red boy- but seriously he never thinks.  
Keith storms up to Lance before Lance even knows what’s happening. He blinks and Keith is there face twisted into a growl, teeth bared like a wolf coming to rip out his throat and thrash in his blood… Maybe he hasn’t been sleeping the greatest lately. _(Or at all)._  
“..Keith?” His murmurs disbelief covering his face as the shock wears off. Immediately he tries backing away. Keith growls and lunges trying to corner him.  
“Why’d you leave me? Why Lance? I thought you loved me!” Keith shouts tears onto his cheeks. Lance makes an unintelligible noise in the back of his throat. The rest of the gang strolls up to the pair.  
“Lance, hey man we brought you McNuggets.” 

 

They sit at a park bench watching Lance as he scarfs down the food like a starving man, which maybe he was- _don’t think about that now._ Hunk shakes his head. When he’s done he leans back eyes darting to Keith like a caged animal. Keith taps the table irritated and crying. It’s...a strange and frightening combination to say the least.  
“Okay. Everyone remain calm and be civil.” Shiro mediates positioned between the two. Lance fidgets in his chair, fingers twisting in the blue fabric in his long thin fingers.  
“Why’d you leave?” Keith immediately fires out red face pinching up. Lance flinches at the question folding in on himself. The group stays quiet waiting to hear his answer.  
“Things.. They-” Lance sputters trying to find the words. Keith huffs getting impatient with Lance. He wants answers and wants them now.  
“Were you unhappy? Did you fine-find someone else?” Keith fires out tripping over the word find. Lance is quick to shake his head.  
“No one.” He murmurs refusing to raise his voice. Pidge cocks her head at the answer still furious but willing to follow Shiro’s order and keep it civil. For Lance.  
“Were you unhappy?” A halfhearted shrug. “Lance.” Another shrug.  
_“Lance!”_ Keith barks standing up. Shiro grabs Keith’s wrist and pulls him down.  
“Keith calm down. Getting angry at what’s done won’t help anyone- especially Lance. What does Shelia say?” Shiro invokes Keith’s therapist to help calm him down.  
“To breath and talk when I’m feeling angry,” he almost guilty admits backing down. He looks at Lance and takes a deep breath. “I feel angry with you and heartbroken because you left.” He grits out. It’s hard- like pulling teeth with Keith but he does it. Lance flinches at the words tears welling up in his eyes.  
“M’sorry,” He whispers training his eyes on the surface of the table tracing swirls and crude words. “Didn’t mean to.”  
“Well what did you mean to do Lance? You left me then texted me you still loved me. Was that a lie?”  
“No.”  
“Tell us why you left.” A cough. “Please.” Lance looks up tears slipping down his chin. They hit the table with a soft plop.  
“I- I-uh,” Lance starts. Keith takes another deep breath and lets Lance continue. Shiro pats Keith’s back and Pidge offers a thumbs up. They sit back quietly letting the pair talk things out. They need it first.  
“I thought. You -uh-” Lance fidgets almost comically.  
“Yes?” Hunk prompts kindly voice soft.  
“You stopped.” He forces out and flushes. Keith cocks his eyes confusion written all over his face. “With me. You stopped.” Lance takes out a little paper and looks at it, tears stilling. They’re there but Lance refuses to let them fall.  
“Lance what are you talking about?” Pidge interjects earning a warning look from Shiro. She continues on nonetheless. “What’s the paper for?” Lance tears the paper into bits quickly looking away.  
“Nothing now.” He says being purposefully stubborn and unhelpful. The group stares at him with varying expressions. When it's clear they won’t speak or more Lance sighs. “You.. had me.” He begins addressing Keith. “And you deserved more. So I left.” Keith’s face absolutely crumbles.  
Keith stares in shock his brain unable to process the new information. Lance left...because he thought Keith deserved more…  
“That is the stupidest reason I’ve ever heard!” He shouts standing up brow furrowing in fury. Lance recoils from Keith’s words. Immediately Shiro stands up to intervene but Keith beats him to it taking another deep breath.  
“I’m sorry Lance. I need a few moments to myself.” Keith turns and walks off. Shiro sits back down hesitantly. Silence descends upon the group.  
“So… how many cockroaches were in the motel bathroom?” Hunk asks eliciting a groan from Lance.

 

Keith returns noticeably calmer and more collected. He strides up to the table but doesn’t sit back down. Instead he address Lance.  
“I think that your thought that I deserve someone better is incredibly stupid of you. I still stand by that. Not because you’re stupid- you aren’t- but because I choose you and I still choose you. I love to spend time with you, and I love you. I don’t care if there’s anyone else because _you’re_ the one I choose to be with. And you just assumed that someone else was better despite the fact that I chose you- and that made me mad to have my decision discredited like that.” Keith takes a breath from his long tirade to a slow blinking Lance. Tears form on the corners of his eyes.  
“Sorry,” He mumbles looking down.  
“It’s understandable. Being insecure. I love you. All of you.” Keith says softly but full of passion. Lance’s eyes go wide and tears pour out. He hides his face sobbing into his hands. Keith looks at Hunk unsure of what to do. Under Hunk’s gentle- and exasperated- instructions Keith walks over to Lance.  
“Can I hold you?” He asks looking for confirmation from Lance and Hunk. Hunk gives a thumbs up. Lance nods shakily and Keith takes Lance in his arms.  
“You love me?” He questions through his tears.  
“Forever and always,” Keith replies. More tears start falling from Lance’s eyes and Keith stiffens in surprise. He looks to the group for help but they just shrug.  
“I-I needed that for so long Keith.” Lance confesses tucking himself further into Keith. Keith stills, a dark thought twisting into his brain. Gears click into place and immediate quilt wells up inside him. Of course. He forgot, he forgot for so long. Of course Lance would assume that, though if they both communicated… but what’s done is done.  
“I’m sorry Lance, i’m so sorry,” Keith says back tears falling from his eyes as well. Lance laughs wetly through the tears.  
“Look at us, both crying.” Lance chuckles a faint smile causing the tears to curve around it.  
“As much as I’m happy for both of you and the fact that you’ve made up- both of you should really go to couple counselling,” Pidge says breaking up the moment. Lance pulls back a little.  
“Sorry Pidgeon,” He teases while wiping his tears away an apologetic smile on his face.  
“Don’t get me wrong I definitely plan on chewing you out- just after you get your issues dealt with.” She smirks standing up.  
“Let’s go Home everyone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally over! Thank you all so much for reading ;p


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